reading the Folk Keeper again. it's SUCH an amazing book. only one hundred fifty-something pages, but so good. so striking. so mesmerizing. so empowering. so liberating. I wish my character could develop like Corinna's.


I accomplished two things.
I have just caught up COMPLETELY on all my deviations and journals. I don't remember when I got behind, but it was pretty bad and never really got better. I think it took three weeks (three half-weeks, actually) of seriously trying to get rid of it.
and now it's gone. so stop posting!
kidding. if I like you, you can keep posting.
now I can take anything you throw at me, deviantart!

I have made peace with Starshine, Ocean/Tidepool/Shipwreck Eyes, Chester [the Molester], et cetera.
turns out his stepdad found my note. whatever, he still got it in the end. he acknowledged that he's been a jerk. I acknowledged that I've been a jerk. he said he only did it because his friends told him I still wanted him, and he didn't know what to do, so he did what they told him.
(of course I still wanted you. how could I not still want you?)
he apologized. did I apologize? shit, I hope so.
and now everything is okay. right?
oh, but I want to dream with him so bad. I understand now.
everyone brings out someone else in me.
with Starshine, I was a dreamer. (oh, I dreamed the most beautiful dreams.)
with Emmett [haha, I haven't used that name in a year and a half], I was pure soul.
with Finian, I am a child. (childhood is fun, but I miss those dreams.)

but I think I can still pull dreams from my tired hands yet. I just have to find where they start, and then I can slowly tug on the threads until I have enough to sew shut the wound in the heart pictured in the tapestry.

(and wouldn't Finian laugh if he knew that the strands binding my peat were dark red.)